Do you feel obliged to silently endure stress and pressure at work? Are you terrified to voice your concerns through fear of being deemed ‘not cut out’ for the role? Do you take on extra work even though you physically do not have enough hours in the day? Welcome to the world of toxic resilience - the dangerous new workplace trend harming our mental health.
Remember ‘toxic positivity’, the pressure to remain positive in any eventuality? This is 2023's iteration and is basically the constant expectation placed on individuals to bounce back, adapt, and persist in the face of adversity, regardless of the toll it takes on their mental and emotional well-being.
“Toxic resilience is when we let our personal needs come second for the sake of just keeping going for the business," explains Hattie Roche, Co-Managing Director and Strategy Chief at www.thisishome.co.uk.
It sees that resilience is becoming a bit of a dirty word. We’ve all talked about the need for resilience at work, frankly – in life. We all want to feel well enough to take what comes and deal with it positively. But what does that look like when the shape and experience of work is constantly changing? Work is experiencing unprecedented change and evolution and for many, it feels tough. When does resilience tip into toxic?
"Constantly being expected to exhibit resilience without the opportunity to express vulnerability can be detrimental to individuals' mental health and overall life happiness. The pressure to suppress one's emotions and put up a front can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This harmful cycle thrives on the misconception that vulnerability and authenticity are synonymous with weakness or incompetence,” said Tara Holley, The Life Designer.
And it seems that toxic resilience is rife in the workplace; the Office for National Statistics recently found that staff absences from work due to poor mental health have hit a record high. Research by Rethinkly shows that almost one in ten employees feel their most toxic relationship is with their line manager and many others take time off because of it. “Being over flexible or compromising your personal wellbeing in order to meet a deadline or accomplish a task at work not only creates a culture of poor boundaries, but it can put the employee at risk of burning out. Constantly striving for higher or unattainable goals, or putting up with a bad boss or a demoralising role can all have downsides for our wellbeing too,” says Andrew Jackson, CEO/Co-founder of Rethinkly.
Sound horribly familiar? Tara Holley shares her top tips for beating toxic resilience in the workplace to save your sanity:
Start by examining your own thoughts and biases surrounding vulnerability. Do you perceive being vulnerable as a sign of weakness, or do you recognise it as a strength of emotional intelligence? Reflect on the impact this mindset has on your own mental health and that of others. By cultivating awareness, we can challenge outdated notions and create space for authentic expression.
Authenticity is essential for personal well-being and alignment. It is crucial to foster a work culture that encourages open communication and provides a safe space for employees to express concerns, challenges, and even failures. By normalising vulnerability, we can cultivate trust and psychological safety, allowing individuals to thrive and contribute authentically.
Beware of a “bestie” who keeps one-upping you.
In the pursuit of productivity, it is easy to neglect personal well-being and work-life balance. Setting boundaries and prioritising self-care is vital to ensure individuals have the energy and resilience needed to face challenges effectively. Remember, valuing well-being is just as important as valuing productivity.
Developing a growth mindset is crucial both within the workplace and in personal life. Seek opportunities to develop the skills needed to navigate challenging situations and build resilience effectively. There are abundant resources such as books, programs, and podcasts that can support your growth in this area.
Encourage a culture where seeking support is not only accepted but encouraged. This includes both professional and personal support such as therapy, mentoring, or coaching for work-life balance and overall well-being. Recognise that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
"While resilience is a crucial trait for success, the expectation of unwavering strength without room for vulnerability is toxic," says Tara. “It is essential to advocate a healthy work environment that values authenticity and creates space for individuals to express themselves and seek support when needed. By breaking free from the cycle of toxic resilience, we can create workplaces that foster growth, fulfilment, and well-being - a place where individuals can thrive.”
“Toxic resilience is a troubling workplace trend that can be disastrous for individuals and organisations alike," adds Kayleigh Frost, Head of Clinical Service at Health Assured. "The ‘put up and shut up’ culture that still exists in some workplaces can put a huge amount of pressure on people to keep quiet when they’re overwhelmed or struggling. Toxic resilience needs to be addressed across all levels of a company – from recognising the loyalty and dedication of staff, to giving line managers the training needed to support team members with mental health concerns. Acting now can prevent bigger issues developing in the future.”
