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13 best dildos of 2023: how to choose and use a dildo

Bigger isn’t always better.
21 Best Dildos in 2023 How to Pick the Right One for You

So while your impulse might just be to grab a large dildo, there’s a chance it won’t feel great unless you know that bigger really does feel better for your body—as in, you’ve enjoyed sex with a partner with a big penis. Other important factors to decide on, such as girth and insertable length, will help guide you in the right direction, whether you prefer a tiny, slimline toy, a truly massive option, or something in between.

How do you use a dildo?

First and foremost, lube up! No matter your gender or where you’ll be putting your dildo, lubricant cuts down on friction and makes for better play, Queen says. (Don’t know where to start? Peep the best lube for masturbation.) Again, if you’re using a silicone toy, which is likely, stick to water-based lubricants to keep your toys from falling apart.

Some people with vulvas are able to orgasm from penetration (and G-spot stimulation) alone, meaning a dildo is a great toy to add to your arsenal. To make it easier to orgasm, Queen explains, you can also add clitoral stimulation with bullet vibrators, clitoris suction toys, or your fingers—especially if you’re using a strong suction cup dildo with a flared base, which leaves both hands free to explore.

Glitter Jelly Vibrating Dildo
Lovehoney Slimline G-Spot Sensual Glass Dildo

You can also use a dildo for anal play. People with prostates can actually experience hands-free orgasms with the right stimulation; look for dildos with curved shafts or heads to make it easier to find and massage the P-spot. (The toys also make regular old masturbation feel even better.) People with vulvas, on the other hand, can actually achieve orgasm by indirectly stimulating the A-spot in the vagina.

The way you play is up to you, whether you go for long, slow strokes or get going like a jackhammer. “You don’t have to insert the entire toy if it isn’t comfortable to do so,” Queen notes. “When using a dildo by hand, you can just hold it at the shaft near the base if you want to insert a limited part of its full length.”

Now that you’re a pro, here’s a guide to some of the best dildos to try for yourself.